Even Now

This morning during my quiet time I was reading in John 11....it is about Jesus raising Lazarus. I was led to this particular portion of Scripture through reading Mark Batterson's book, "The Circle Maker." This ended up being one of those moments when God spoke a message so clearly to my heart and to my soul that I got up from my chair a different person than I was when I sat down (Disclaimer...God's Word is always changing me, it's just there are some days when it is a lightning strike kind of change).

So, here is the story of Lazarus: Lazarus, along with his sisters Mary and Martha, were dear friends of Jesus. Jesus got word that Lazarus was sick but didn't go to him immediately. He stayed where he was for several more days. He eventually made his way to Lazarus, but by the time he got there it was too late. Lazarus was dead. Not just recently dead, but in the grave dead for four days. When Mary and Martha found out that Jesus had arrived Mary stayed where she was, but Martha ran to meet him.

Here is verse 21: Martha said to Jesus, "Lord, if only you had been here, my brother would not have died. Understandable that Martha would react this way. It is the next verse that is so amazing...

But even now I know that God will give you whatever you ask" (verse 22)

EVEN NOW

Martha's faith is amazing to me. I want that kind of Martha faith. The kind of faith that believes Jesus can still act even though her brother is dead. Most of us would stop at the first part of what she said...I know there are many times I have. We come to a dead end and say, "Lord if you had only been here________. We mess up or we miss an opportunity. We put a period. The end. Don't bother to pray anymore. It is over. It is finished. Nothing's going to change. Nothing will ever get better. 

But I wonder how many times we put a period when God would put a comma. Can we be so bold to put a comma? To keep praying and believing even when the outcome seems impossible? 

I think of all the times in my life that I have messed up. So many regrets I have about

... raising my children

...choices I have made

...times I have been complacent instead of bold

...times I had opportunities to share Jesus with someone and I chose not to

...financial decisions I have made that I am still paying for

This list could go on and on and on, but I chose to stop it. I chose to believe that "even now" God will act and will give me (with Jesus as my High Priest and Mediator) whatever I ask. 

Even now I believe that Jesus will save my children and use their lives for His glory. 

Even now I believe that Jesus will redeem the choices I have made to accomplish His work in me so He can fulfill His purpose through me. 

Even now I believe that Jesus will grow me into a bold warrior for Him and help me take a stand. 

Even now I believe that Jesus will give me daily opportunities to share the gospel.

Even now I believe that Jesus will give me wisdom to make better financial decisions.

What situations are you facing now that you could choose to have faith to put a comma instead of a period? 

EVEN NOW....

All Things New

All things new...is it really possible?

So we have stopped evaluating others from a human point of view. At one time we thought of Christ merely from a human point of view. How differently we know him now! This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun! 2 Corinthians 5:16-17

We all know this verse...well, we know 2 Corinthians 5:17. I am sure we all think of the butterfly when we read this verse. It is a great verse, isn’t it? Poetic. Looks good on plaques. In fact I used to have a license tag on the front of my car with a butterfly and 2 Corinthians 5:17.

We all want to be new creations. Do you feel like a new creation? Do you act like a new creation? Maybe some of the time, but I am sure not all of the time. I know I don’t. I still fight a lot of old desires and temptations and strongholds.

I think the best way to study this verse is to study the man who wrote this verse. All Scripture is inspired by God and this verse has the extra weight of credibility because we know Paul’s story.

In her study, All Things New, Kelly Minter, says:

In verse 17, Paul draws our attention to a dividing line that’s already taken place in history. Because of Jesus’ incarnation, death, and resurrection, the old order of sin’s regime binding us under the law is in the past. All new things have come. We are new creations in Christ.

I am drawn to that dividing line. Let’ take a moment to look at that dividing line in Saul’s life.

In Acts Chapter 9 we are introduced to Saul (not the first time in Scripture his name is mentioned).

Saul was uttering threats with every breath and was eager to kill the Lord’s followers (9:1).

Who was this Saul before Jesus? He was blinded to who God really was. He talks about putting confidence in human effort and that if anyone could do that he could. Listen to his words:

I was circumcised when I was 8 days old. I am a pure-blooded citizen of Israel and a member of the tribe of Benjamin--a real Hebrew if there ever was one! I was a member of the Pharisees, who demand the strictest obedience to the Jewish law. I was so zealous that I harshly persecuted the church. And as far as righteousness, I obeyed the law without fault.

AW Tozer shares this about him: Paul, a man of reason, a well-educated man in his day, and one of the top Pharisees in Israel. He was going places as far as his religious aspirations were concerned. He was deeply devoted to his career and had reasoned himself down the pathway to success.

This was Paul before Jesus.

Paul had a faulty perception of God. His perception of God was not in line with what the Bible said about God. Paul would have argued against this point, but it’s true. He did not see God as a God of perfection, grace, mercy, goodness. His God was too small.

PAUL’S DIVIDING LINE:

Then came the Damascus Road. Paul reached the end of human reason and encountered God. He discovered the one true God and from that moment on, the passion of his heart can be summed up in the phrase “That I may know Him.”

No matter what else we know about Paul, if we know this, we begin to understand the real passion of his heart and why he did some of the things he did.

He truly became a new creation.

Again, let's allow Paul to share his testimony:

I once thought these things were valuable, but now I consider them worthless because of what Christ has done. Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I could gain Christ and become one with him. I no longer count on my own righteousness through obeying the law; rather, I become righteous through faith in Christ. Philippians 3:7-9

Please know that this change was not immediate. It was a life-long process for Paul. It is a life-long process for each of us. Let's take hope from Paul's words:

I don't mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not yet achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead. I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly price for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us. Philippians 3:12-14

All things new...it is possible? Yes! With God all things are possible.

Paul became a completely different person. That is what 2 Corinthians 5:17 speaks of...that kind of change. Not a surface level change. It is not just nodding to a few truths and then saying “I accept Jesus.” It is infusing into your life the divine power, the same power that raised Jesus from the dead. This is the tremendous work of the Holy Spirit to bring you into the divine world of redemption...to truly change...to truly transform.

God's Word Sink into My Heart First

I have been reading through the book of Ezekiel lately. Just a few chapters a day. So many verses have spoken to me as Ezekiel is a great book to read for today. It is a grand story of how God used a man to warn the Israelites of the coming judgment because of their sin and unfaithfulness.

This phrase jumped off the page:

"Son of man, let all my words sink deep into your own heart first. Listen to them carefully for yourself. Then go to your people in exile and say to them, 'This is what the Sovereign LORD says!'..." (Ezekiel 3:10-11). 

This is what God spoke to me through these verses:

1. Let all My Words: This is my responsibility. God has given me His Word. It is my job to let all of them become a part of me. I am not to pick and choose which of His Words I let become a part of me. ALL of His Word is important. 
2. Sink deep into your own heart first: It is imperative that I allow God's work to sink deep into my own heart first, before I speak to others, before I teach, before anything that I do. FIRST. First thing in the morning, receive the word that God has for me and make it a part of who I am. 
3. Listen to them carefully: This has not always been easy. It is easy to read God's Word each morning and once I made having a quiet time a part of my life; a habit, I got really good at reading and studying. However, I didn't always listen. I would often get up from my quiet time and go about my day as if I had not spent any time with the LORD. A year and a half ago I started writing what God was speaking to me on an index card and carrying it with me throughout the day. Thus, I am learning to listen carefully. 
4. Then go to your people in exile: Once I have let all of God's Words sink deep into my own heart first and listened to them carefully, then and ONLY then am I to go to my people. My people who are held captive by sin, by fear, by temptation, by the evil one. 
5. Say to them, 'This is what the Sovereign LORD says: We, as God's children, have a responsibility to share what He speaks to us to others. God tells Ezekiel in 3:16-21 that if we are given a message of warning and we fail to deliver and people die in their sins, then we are responsible. On the other hand if we are given a message of warning and deliver it to the people and they choose to not obey, then they are at fault. 

Let me reiterate this truth: We, as God's children, must be spending daily time in His Word. If we are not then we are tempted to paraphrase and modify His Word or take liberties that are not ours to take. 

Let God's Word sink into your heart first. Listen to them carefully. Then go...

Leave it at the Door

I am currently listening to and reading Goliath Must Fall by Louie Giglio. This is an amazing book and I encourage you to read or listen to it (or both). So much spoke to me in this book, but the focus of this particular blog is on leaving our giants at the door.

Let me set the stage for just a moment so you can get the full picture (for the complete story read 1 Samuel 17). Enter on the stage Goliath. He was a really big guy with really heavy armor; about 125 pounds of armor. He came out EVERY morning and EVERY evening and taunted not only the Israelites, but their God. Every day. Twice a day. Forty days. Are you getting the picture? He was relentless. He didn't take a day off. He didn't take a vacation. He didn't give up.

Put yourself in this scene. Only you don't have an actual, physical giant, but your giant is no less powerful and relentless. Louie goes into depth on these giants: fear, rejection, comfort, anger and addiction. Any of these hit home? More than one, you say? How are you doing with your giant? Have you beat it or them?

Let's relate to the Israelites. The Israelites came out every day, twice a day and faced Goliath. As soon as he came out they ran in fright. Louie says this is what some churches look like today.

"We gather each Sunday and lift up powerful anthems of worship to our God. That's our war cry. We position ourselves for battle. We claim the victory. We might even shut down the Devil. But then that's as far as we ever get. When the Sunday service is over, the same giant steps up and defies the power of God to keep us and save us and transform us. For a lot of us, we settle into a dual existence, a schizophrenic faith. One part of us fully believes in the rule and reign of Jesus, confident he is able to change things for the better. The other part of us accommodates the 'pet tiger,' caves into the giant and lives in the valley of defeat."

This is the picture that popped into my mind when I listened to this part. Have you seen the commercial for Mybetriq (if you haven't take just a minute to watch it on YouTube. I am not promoting this medicine, I just want you to pay attention to the bladder character).

So, I pictured my giant(s) as that bladder character, bossing me around and dragging me places I didn't want to go. On Sunday it goes to church with me, but I leave it at the door, go in and worship (my battle cry) and then come back out and give it permission to take my hand again. My vision went even further as I pictured a lot of these creatures hanging outside the church waiting for God's children to come back out and give them permission to go with them once again and taunt not only them, but our GOD.

Guess what? We don't have to give them that permission. Jesus has defeated our Giants. He did this on the Cross. Recognizing that a giant who has been taunting us is defeated is not easy, but just know this: it has already been defeated and while we are learning to "leave it at the door" Jesus is walking with us. We don't just have to be held in His hand while we are in church. He is with us always.

Embrace THIS Season

I have been working through Rebekah Lyons' Bible Study, You are Free and this morning I read Ecclesiastes 3. I am sure you have read it or heard of it...

For everything there is a season,

a time for every activity under heaven.

Rebekah said, "But God has something specific for us in each season and seeing it, celebrating it, confessing it, declaring it, and embracing it will open you up to more joy in the current seasons and freedom to live right where you are instead of wishing it away." 

When I read that a thought fired across my synapses...oh my, I haven't been doing this with raising my children. Looking back I am not sure I took the time to enjoy the season they were in because I was so intent on getting through that particular season. You know anxiously awaiting when they will sleep through the night, stop bottle feeding, start smiling, crawling, walking. Anxiously awaiting when they will start school, start becoming more independent, finish high school, get a job...Oh, Father, I am sorry that I have not taken the time to enjoy Your blessings in each season. So many magical moments forfeited that I can't get back...

My children are teenagers now. Two sons are 17 and my girl is almost 14. How the time has flown. 

Yes, the regret is heavy. I can't go back and do the seasons over.

But I can start today. 

I can see and celebrate this season. 

I can stop counting days and live in this day. I can embrace this season. 

This is my challenge to you today. Stop counting the days and start living EACH day...today...this season. This is the season and this is the time...don't miss the magic. 

Dearest Father,

Thank you for this season of my life. Forgive me for always counting my days away and anxiously awaiting the next season and the next season. You tell us in Your Word that there is a season for everything and a time for every activity under heaven. Open my eyes and my heart to this season that I am in right now. Thank you for speaking to my heart before it was too late to reflect, confess and act on what You have shown me. 

I am a Wilderness Wanderer

I have a confession.

I am a wilderness wanderer. 

Let me explain...

Sunday morning started like many other Sunday mornings. The alarm went off and I got out of bed, ready to spend the first moments of my day with God. This I have been doing for going on almost 12 years now; giving my first waking moments to Him.

Praying. 

Listening. 

Learning. 

I am amazed at all He has taught me these last 11 years. So much He has freed me from...

But there is still this one thing I struggle with (well, there is more than one, but this one is a biggie) and that is, well, ultimately it comes down to trust. Do I trust Him to provide? It seems most days my faith is choked by my unending focus on money, on my finances, on whether we are going to be able to make ends meet this month. It is a constant song playing in my head, like someone has pushed "repeat" and the button is stuck.

This morning, like other mornings, I prayed for God to forgive me for not trusting Him and to free me from my constant worry and to shut the voices up that what I have is not enough, never enough. Confession is good for the soul.

"Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a loyal spirit within me. Psalm 51:10

I finished my Quiet Time and went for a run. When I run alone I have always listened to books and this particular run I was listening to Grace is Greater by Kyle Idleman. Little did I know that God had preordained this run and this book to show me my sin, answer my prayer and start me on the blessed road to freedom. It was a beautiful collision of His amazing grace with my need.

It all began with Chapter 8...

Kyle begins Chapter 8 by describing a request he received for financial assistance. He didn't know the person and found his request to be a bit unusual. This person was wanting assistance to pay for his headstone and the inscription. Kyle soon found out that this man wanted the following inscription on his headstone:

Forgive Me for the Days I Wasn't Grateful

A little odd, maybe, but it caused me to think about all the days and the times I wasn't grateful, all the days I spent whining and complaining. It is a myriad of things I complain about on an almost daily basis; my kids and husband not helping around the house, cars driving too slow, and the list goes on and on. 

All of those thoughts led me to glance at the tattoo on my wrist, eucharisteo, and remember reading Ann Voskamp's book One Thousand Gifts and even starting my own list of 1000 gifts. Life-changing. Heart-changing, truth. 

I am now at the end of one street and turning left to go up a hill. 

I keep listening. I am still running up the hill. As I am about to get to the top (which is a stopping place for me so my heart rate can slow and I can catch my breath...trust me it is a big hill). 

Kyle says, "In Exodus 16 we see the Israelites wandering in the wilderness (the neurons in my brain are communicating a lot faster, the collision is about to come). God had miraculously led them out of their oppressive bondage in Egypt. Now these former slaves are making their way across the desert to the land God promised them, a land they could call their own. But as they make their journey we find them complaining."

I have now reached the top of the hill, a little out of breath, heart racing. And it's not just because I ran up a hill, God is speaking to me. He is answering a prayer I just prayed this very morning. A prayer I have prayed so many times before...

Kyle goes on to tell about the Israelites complaining that they were tired of manna, but my mind goes to another time that the Israelites complained and God punished them. 

In Numbers 13 the LORD told Moses to "Send out some men to explore the land of Canaan, the land I am giving to the Israelites" (Numbers 13:1) Moses obeyed and sent one leader from each of the twelve tribes. The men went out and explored the land. All of the land. They even "cut down a branch with a single cluster of grapes so large that it took two of them to carry it on a pole between them" (Numbers 13:23). 

The men spent 40 days exploring the land and then returned to Moses. This is where it gets interesting...

After exploring the land for forty days, the men returned to Moses, Aaron, and the whole community of Israel. They told the entire community what they had seen.

"We entered the land you sent us to explore and it is indeed a bountiful country--a land flowing with milk and honey. Here is the kind of fruit it produces. BUT the people living there are powerful, and their towns are large and fortified. We even saw giants there, the descendants of Anak! The Amalekites live in the Negev, and the Hittites, Jebusites, and Amorites live in the hill country. The Canaanites live along the coast of the Mediterranean Sea and the along the Jordan Valley."

What is interesting to note here is that God already said He was giving the land to the Israelites. Did you catch that? It was already theirs. They must have missed that part. But wait...hadn't God told them many times before that He was giving them the land? Promised to give them the land?

I Googled "How many times did God promise to give the land to the Israelites?" And while the internet can't always be trusted, I found where there are 55 times in which God confirmed the gift with an oath.  Of course He could have just told them once and it would be as certain, but He knows how stubborn they....we...are.

I am a wilderness wanderer. 

So, what happens after 10 of the 12 come back with this report? Well, first of all, Caleb tried to get them to be quiet. He knows how contagious complaining is and how quickly it can infect everyone within ear shot. Caleb said, "Let's go at once to take the land," he said, "We can certainly conquer it!"

They wouldn't be quiet. They disagreed. "We can't go up against them! They are stronger than we are!" This is the report that spread. The whole community begins weeping and crying all night. They protested against Moses and even talked of stoning Joshua and Caleb. Why, they even thought it was a good idea to choose a new leader and head back to Egypt. All this whining and tearing of clothes and plotting to stone reached the ears of the LORD.

"Then the glorious presence of the LORD appeared to all the Israelites at the Tabernacle. And the LORD said to Moses, 'How long will these people treat me with contempt? Will they never believe Me, even after all the miraculous signs I have done among them?" (Numbers 13:11-12)

Punch to the gut. I am still at the top of the hill about to fall on my face with the weight of my sin. Because this is what I heard, "Suzie, how long will you treat Me with contempt? Will you never believe Me, even after all the miraculous signs I have done for you?"

Oh, Father....Abba...I am so sorry. I am so sorry that I have not believed You. I am so sorry that I have not trusted You. You have told me over and over and over and over that You will provide. You are Jehovah-Jireh, my Provider.

"And this God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from His glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus." (Phil 4:19). That is just one of the verses. There are many more.

I am a wilderness wanderer. 

Back to the Israelites. At the end of Numbers 13, God is ready to get rid of them all and make Moses into a greater nation. Moses, intercedes on their behalf and God agrees to just punish them. How does he punish them? Well, in Numbers 14:26-29, God says, "How long must I put up with this wicked community and its complaints about Me? Yes, I have heard the complaints the Israelites are making against Me. Now tell them this: 'As surely as I live, declares the LORD, I will do to you the very things you say. You will all drop dead in this wilderness!"

They became wilderness wanderers...because they complained and God took their complaints personally. As He should. He promised and they let what they saw with their eyes infect their hearts and ultimately they concluded that Jehovah couldn't be trusted.

I was a wilderness wanderer. 

That Sunday morning, that began like many other Sunday mornings, was the Sunday morning that I began to leave the wilderness. God gently showed me my sin, spoke to my heart and extended His beautiful grace to this former wilderness wanderer. He didn't make me stay there. He wanted me to be free. He is a good, good Father. Loving. Patient. Kind. Gracious.

Oh, Father....Abba...I am so sorry. I am ready to leave the wilderness and cling to Your promises. Thank You for not leaving me here. Thank You for Your promises to meet all my needs. I believe, Father, I believe. I am ready...